Memories That Fade Like Photographs
by CallItTreason
Summary: Alex's dad has Alzheimer's, and it brings Alex home to Baltimore, the town that he's been avoiding. He is reunited with his ex, who also happens to be his father's nurse. Conflicting love, a hidden engagement, and his father's pending surgery may push Alex over the edge. Rated M for language and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Okay so I just realized I have two hospital stories. I PROMISE I AM NOT MORBID! LOL. Anyways, enjoy!

"Peter Gaskarth" I smiled, but it quickly faded to a frown. My happiness at a familiar name and face was matched with the fear and dread of the circumstances I was to be meeting him under. I stood outside his hospital door and peeked through the glass window. A quick glance around the room confirmed my darkest suspicions, and I choked back a tear. He was entirely alone.

I sucked in a sharp breath and knocked gently before entering the room. "Mr. Gaskarth!" I smiled cheerfully. I had yet to read his case file, so I hadn't the slightest idea why he was a patient at the hospital I work at. I silently prayed that it was curable.

He looked at me with a blank expression. It never occurred to me that he wouldn't remember me. While Alex and I dated for only a few short months, I met him many times. _It has been a few years,_ I thought, washing my hands and slipping on some gloves. "What brings you here today, sir?" I asked.

"Alzheimer's." He sighed. My optimism was fading, fast.

"Well, at least I know why you don't remember me!" I giggled. The words slipped out of my mouth, and the instant they left, I regretted them. The tension built in the room as he stared me down.

"No, I remember you." He nodded. "I just chose to forget."

I felt my gaze stiffen and my words grew colder. "Ah, yes. Well, about your treatment…" I drifted off into a monotonous sprawl of medical terminology, big words and treatment plans. When I finished, I asked, "Do you want me to discuss your treatment with your wife? Or, Alex…?"

He laughed darkly. "My wife died 6 months ago from cancer. And I haven't seen Alex since his mother died."

I frowned and my cold-hearted display started to waver. "I'm so sorry, sir… I…" He cut me off and smiled grimly. "Life happens. I came here to discuss my options. The only things I have left are my memories." A tear came to his eye. "Sometimes I don't know who I am anymore. My son won't return home because this place reminds him too much of his mother." His voice shook. "Her death was short; it caught all of us off guard. I don't think Alex ever forgave himself for not being around when she needed him."

I nodded and hung my head. I was beginning to regret being so cold earlier.

He continued. "I hear you guys are offering a treatment option. I want to try it."

"Sir," I interrupted. "It's experimental, and the consequences could be grave. We don't have much knowledge of-"

He stopped me. "I want to try. What do I have left?" He gestured around the room. "A life with no one or nothing to comfort me? Maybe if he hears I'm sick, Alex will come back home for once."

My eyes began to well with tears and I wiped them quickly. I couldn't think of what to say, so I left it with a simple, "I promise, you're in good hands."

He nodded. "I requested you specifically, for that reason."

I left the room and began filling out the lengthy paperwork to get Mr. Gaskarth into the study.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Peter was confused. As I walked through the door, he stared me down cautiously.

"Peter?" I asked.

"How do you know my name?" he replied. He looked genuinely confused. "Am I sick?"

I sighed. "Well, kind of…" I sighed. "We're here to get you signed up for your Alzheimer's study. I need some health information before we can continue. Do you have the number to your primary physician so I can get the files for you?"

He paused. "I don't know who my physician is." He looked down. "I'm sorry, miss, but I can't for the life of me, remember. My son might know though…" He reached over and grabbed his phone. "Here" He tried to hand it to me.

I stared at the phone resting in my hand.

"His name is Alex. You should meet him, I think he'd like you." He winked at me. "You're just the kind of girl he needs. He's been out running around in some rock band lately. I want him to settle down. I've always wanted grandchildren."

I froze, staring at the phone. Quickly navigating to Alex's number, I pressed the call button. I didn't have the heart to tell him that Alex and I were long gone.

It rang a few times before putting me to an automated voicemail. "Sir, he didn't pick up…" I whispered.

Mr. Gaskarth eagerly ushered me to continue. "Call again!" he cried. "He always picks up for his old man." He smiled like a little kid.

Unable to resist his enthusiasm, I cringed and squeezed the phone in my hand. As I did, his phone started to buzz and ring. I jumped from the sudden noise. Across his phone's screen read the name: "Alexander".

I mentally cursed before picking up. His father was smiling.

"Mr. Gaskarth?" I answered formally.

"Mr. Gaskarth is my father," he answered smoothly. "I'm Alex. What can I do for you, sweet thang?"

I felt the butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't tell if it was from the awkward phone call, or the sound of his voice. "I'm your father's nurse," I started. "He's waiting to get cleared for an Alzheimer's experimental study and he needs access to his records. I'm going to need your information for it."

Alex laughed on the other end of the phone. "Damn, Lauren, if you wanted to call me so badly, you could've just done it."

"Whoa, what?" I cried, growing angry. "I'll have you know that I did NOT want to call you. Your father insisted-" He cut me off again.

"Chill out, princess, it's Marvin Sutherland." He laughed. "Baltimore Medical Center. Now, is that all you really needed?"

"No. You're needed in Baltimore, he needs someone to control his medical treatment. I need your signature to continue." I absent-mindedly examined my fingernail polish, pretending to act normal so as not to alarm Mr. Gaskarth.

"HEY now…" started Alex. _At last,_ I thought _. The tides are turning._

"Without your signature," I smirked, knowing I finally won, "Your father will be ineligible for treatment. Do you really want that on your hands?"

"No, but-"

"Perfect!" I exclaimed. "I'll see you Monday."

"Wait, can't we talk about this?" he cried, clearly accepting that he did not have the upper hand.

"Of course!" I said, smiling wide. "We can do it in person. See you soon, Mr. Gaskarth!"

"Dammit Lauren!" he yelled. I hung up and handed the phone back to his father. "He'll be here next week." I said with a grin, for once feeling totally and completely in control.


	3. Chapter 3

After a long day at the hospital, I returned home to my cozy one room apartment and settled on the couch. Away from the bustle of the workday, I was finally alone with my thoughts, and that's when the realization set in. I literally TOLD Alex Gaskarth to come to Baltimore, and he agreed…

Suddenly, the thoughts began swirling in my head and I couldn't decide if he was really coming for his dad, or maybe, _just_ maybe, he wanted to see me again.

Interrupting my thoughts, my phone buzzed, alerting me to a text from an unknown number. I opened it, revealing the following message: "So…"

Confused, I hurried to reply, but was interrupted from the buzz of another message.

"You conned me out of my tour this next month, you know that?"

I set my phone down. The fact that he texted me was enough to throw me off, let alone the tone he used. It ruined my mood on the matter, and all of my wistful thinking was crushed with the last text I received.

I thought to reply with something witty, but I didn't want to upset him even more. I quietly lowered my phone to the couch, face down, and flipped off the volume.

I turned on the TV and flipped through some channels to distract myself. Before I knew it, I was fading into sleep.

I woke up with a start to the soft glow of the television and the muffled voices of the actors onscreen. The clock on the table beside me read "3:46". I sat up quickly, instantly regretting it. My vision grew sparkly and my head started to spin.

I lowered my head into my lap with a groan and rubbed my eyes. I instinctively reached for my phone and was greeted with quite a few missed messages.

None were noteworthy until I saw another from Alex.

"Please talk to me."

I sighed and stared at the screen. Part of me longed to call him, but the socially anxious side of me voted against that. I lifted myself off of the couch and walked to the kitchen to get something to eat when my phone started to ring.

Alex's number was flashing across my phone and for a few tense seconds, I debated letting it go to voicemail, but curiosity won.

"Hello?" I tentatively answered.

"Yeah, let's do it!" I heard Alex's voice yell, surrounded by a million other noises and people.

I sighed. Clearly his 4 am was a bit more entertaining than mine.

"Alex, I think you have the wrong-" I started, but he cut me off.

"I need an uber. Like now."

"I'm not an uber…" I trailed, waiting for him to reply and realize he called the wrong number, but he insisted.

"Nope, you're my uber." He insisted. "Come pick me up."

I gently touched my head to the wall. "Alex, you're in San Francisco… Let me call you one. Where are you?"

"South Broadway." He promptly stated. "I'm in this god-forsaken town, now, are you going to come get me?"

My breath caught as I came to the realization that Alex Gaskarth was only a few miles from me. "I'll be right there." I mumbled quickly, throwing on a jacket.

I made the short drive into the city and spotted him on the side of the road outside of a club. He was clearly stumbling, and surrounded by a crowd of people. I saw a few camera flashes and noticed what looked to be like the paparazzi swarming in on Alex in his drunken state. I pulled over to the side of the road and desperately tried to think of a way to help him get away from the crowd, but I was running short of ideas. It was then that I saw him take a swing at one of the photographers.

I jumped from the car and ran across the busy city street to break up the fight and did exactly what always happens in the movies. I ran in front of the photographer with my arms spread to get Alex to rethink his actions and hopefully not get arrested tonight. He had wound his arm up and was ready to swing. We locked eyes for a second and he took the swing, straight to my face.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up in my bed the next morning with a pounding headache. I rolled out of bed to get some coffee. The memory of last night was very fresh in my mind and I felt no better about it this morning, even though I had hope that I would get over it.

I was very much not over it. So much not over it, that I elected to leave Alex on the street last night, and spent no time trying to convince the photographers that he did not, in fact, just hit a woman. The press had a field day, and every gossip site I knew was covering the Alex Gaskarth meltdown on South Broadway.

 _Maybe some apologies are better left unsaid,_ I mused, hopping into the shower. I hopped out and started fixing my hair and makeup. I finished pretty quickly and sauntered over to the couch, relieved to have a day off of work, but also dreading the day ahead of me. I was always so busy, so a free night didn't really sit well in my head.

My phone went off and I saw Alex was calling me. Not in the mood to play games, I picked up.

"Yes?" I growled.

"We gotta talk." He answered, sounding ashamed. "I really didn't see you, I promise. Sometimes my fists take over and I lose my cool. I hate that about myself. Please don't hold this against me. The press has already labeled me as a dick. Please tell me you don't believe that." He paused, waiting for my reply. When none came, he said, "I'm really fucking sorry, dude. Really." He sighed and added, "Are you busy today?"

"No, I'm not." I answered truthfully. "I kind of don't have a life, remember?"

"Ah, yes, the studious type, as always. What kind of soul-sucking job have you gotten yourself into now?" he taunted. His old self was starting to show and I was reminded of why I found him to be such an asshole back in the day

"What right do you have to be talking to me like this? You're so fucked up." I spat, the mental image of him from last night strong in my brain.

I pulled the phone away from my face to end the call.

"Don't hang up."

I looked around, but the voice wasn't coming from the phone. Alex was standing in my doorway, hands now sheepishly in his pockets. "I wanted to apologize."

"Well, don't." I squinted my eyes at him and crossed my arms. "If you ever want to be forgiven, you're going to have to show me you're sorry." I figured the threat of him having to get off his ass and take action would be enough to scare him off. Much to my dismay, it wasn't, and he retorted in typical Alex fashion.

Alex took a step forward and winked. "I can show you a thing or two." Not one to fall for his boyish charm, I had already decided he lost this round.

"I'm sure you can." I smiled. "Bedroom. Now."

Alex's face lit up and he was practically bouncing out of his skin walking to the bedroom. I internally laughed at his eager side. _He really is a cutie, despite his bad boy image and incontrollable bouts of anger._ And in that moment, I almost forgave him. _Almost._ I followed behind him and paused before entering.

I stepped through the doorway and was greeted by Alex, who was attempting to lay sexily on the bed. I turned so my back faced him and slowly bent over to pick up a thong on the floor.

"Bend and snap it, baby," moaned Alex, clearly starting to get aroused. I tossed the thong into the laundry basket.

Alex had his eyes all over my body, and I had to take this a step further, solely for my ego. I lifted my shirt over my head and tossed it into the basket as well.

"Close your eyes." I whispered, walking towards him. He squeezed his eyes shut and held out his hands, as if they were anticipating my body.

I dropped the laundry basket into his waiting hands. "If you're really sorry, you're going to prove it. I need these washed and pressed… can you do that for me by noon tomorrow?"

His sly expression disappeared from his face as he stared at the clothes in disbelief.

"You… you just… you…" he couldn't form a coherent sentence and it took all I had to not burst into laughter.

I threw another t-shirt on and giggled sexily.

"Whoa, what's going on?" I asked, trying to sound innocent. "Were you expecting something else?"

He paused, and stood up, holding the clothes. "Nope. Not at all. I'm going to go take care of this now." He mumbled, exiting the room.


	5. Chapter 5

"Peter!" I called, opening his door. "How are you feeling today, sir?"

He groaned, clearly still half-asleep. "I've been better. How's the study going? Have you heard anything on the status of it?"  
I frowned. "It won't start for another month or so. Until then, we're going to have to just sit tight. There aren't that many volunteers for this sort of procedure." I explained. I washed my hands and slipped on gloves. It was starting to wear on me when I had to repeat things.

I didn't know if I should mention that Alex was here, or not. Peter wasn't stable recently, and his memory waivered more when he was under stress. _Would Alex being here be stressful, though?_ I wondered. I also didn't know if Alex could handle seeing his dad like this, in his current mental state. I shrugged it off and decided to keep it a secret a little while longer, just until I could stabilize Mr. Gaskarth's condition.

That night, Alex was waiting in my apartment for me to get home. He wasted no time before speaking.

"So, I know you're tired, and I know it's been a long day for you, but I don't have anywhere else to go." He hung his head. "If you really don't want me here, I can get a hotel or something, I just would rather be around someone that doesn't make me want to jump off a cliff. This city doesn't feel like home anymore. Not to mention, the press is out on a manhunt for me because of my little outburst..."

I furrowed my brow and took in the scene around me. My normally clean apartment was a mess, with pizza boxes, empty beer cans, and clothes strewn about haphazardly around the living room.

The mess stressed me out a little, but it wasn't enough to make me want to kick him out.

"Besides," he continued, clearly unhappy with my lack of response. "I owe you one." In his outstretched hand he held an ice pack. "For your head."

I eyed the ice pack and my head throbbed from the hit I took from Alex's fist earlier.

"Okay, you can stay." I sighed. His eyes lit up. "Really? You mean it?"

"Yes. I mean it." He ran over to me and gave me a giant bear hug.

"I really do need to be getting to bed, though." I yawned. "I put in a 14 hour workday today."

"Yes! Yes of course!" he swept me off my feet and carried me to my bedroom. "I'd help you undress, but that might get me thrown out." He kissed my forehead and walked out of the room.

 _What the actual fuck?_ I thought to myself. I thought to myself. It was getting hard for me to comprehend Alex's emotions. He goes back and forth from asshole to Prince Charming and it was confusing as fuck.

I stared at the closed door and picked up my phone to distract myself from Alex's ever-present mood swings, though I couldn't deny feeling slightly giddy from his outward displays of affection towards me.

 _Don't get too excited,_ I thought _. He's just sad and lonely because of his dad._

I flipped though my phone's password to see what I had on my phone. As expected, there were several unopened messages from my very recent ex, Jonathan. The busyness of the past few days had drawn my attention away from my recent breakup, and I surprised myself by how little I had actually thought about it. _I must be making progress,_ I thought.

Jonathan and I ended on okay terms. Conflicting work schedules and lives that weren't meshing together caused the breakup. We both worked for the hospital, though Jonathan was on the philanthropy board. He was scheduled to leave for Nigeria in a few months and remain there indefinitely. I knew that he wanted the trip more than anything, and I supported him, but I didn't want that kind of future. We eventually made the decision to split, because it wasn't working for either of us and all it did was cause us stress. For the past few weeks, I'd been avoiding his calls and texts, but tonight felt different.

I almost felt like I could handle seeing what he had to say. I hesitantly opened his thread and scanned the messages I'd ignored for so long.

The most recent message caught my eye.

"I don't want you out of my life. I've been thinking. Maybe Baltimore has more opportunity for me than Nigeria. I love you, Lauren. Please give me a call."

My heart stopped. I definitely could NOT handle this. This was not what I was expecting. The tears stung my eyes and I buried my face in the pillow.

I needed someone. I was so lonely. It finally hit me that maybe I was constantly keeping busy to hide the void that I felt in my life, a void that work did not satisfy. A void that could only be filled through being in love with someone else. In that moment I wanted nothing more than Jonathan to be in bed with me, like he used to. I sighed as the memories came flooding back.

A soft knock at the door awoke me from my daydream.

"Hey, can I come in?" Alex asked, peering through the cracked doorway.

I quickly wiped my eyes and nodded. He stepped through the dark room and climbed beside me in bed.

"I kind of wanted to talk to you." He whispered, laying on his side so he faced me.

I looked him in the eyes and nodded, unable to say anything.

"Well, while you were gone today, some guy came by your apartment." He started. My face fell. The only man that would have come by here was Jonathan, and I did not want the two of them to mix. "And by 'some guy' I mean Jonathan fucking Cook." He sighed, "Really, Lauren? HIM? Of all people?"

My face fell and I lowered my gaze.

"I mean, what happened?" asked Alex, his tone lightening slightly. "Aside from the obvious fact that he was the lead singer in the biggest rival band of All Time Low for years before retiring to be a doctor. I know we've grown up and stuff, but I'm not over it! They almost stole our gig at prom!"

"He's not the same guy anymore." I smiled slightly. "But as for us, our lives just didn't match." I whispered. "He wanted to go to Nigeria. For his philanthropy work. It's really important to him."

"Oh…" Alex's face twisted into a thoughtful expression. "I don't see why he'd choose Nigeria over you, though." He half smiled at me.

"Wouldn't be the first time a guy chose a dream over me." I mumbled, turning away from Alex. "Look, I'm really tired. It's been a long day."

"Lauren…" Alex sighed and I felt the bed shift. "You can't blame me for that."

"You're right." I answered after a long pause. "There was nothing left for you here."

"You make it sound like I just threw you away," his voice was starting to sound angrier by the second. "You have no idea how hard that was. I tried to take you with me."

I sat up and shook my head. "I'm not talking about this tonight. I have bigger problems than a guy I dated when I was 16."

I regretted it instantly when I saw the hurt flash across his face. He immediately regained his composure and his expression hardened. "Well, in that case, I'm going to leave you to it."

He hopped off the bed and exited the room.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning I half-expected Alex to be gone, but he wasn't lying about not having anywhere to go. When I walked out of my room, I initially didn't see him, and I thought I was alone.

I took a deep breath and sauntered over to the kitchen, carefully checking my surroundings. I kept thinking I'd find Alex asleep under a pile of clothes or something so I treaded carefully to avoid tripping.

I didn't see anything that would make think he was here, so I walked into my tiny kitchen. Lo and behold, there he was, passed out sitting up against the refrigerator door with a bottle of champagne in his hand. He was wearing nothing but boxers and a sideways baseball cap.

"Fucking hell, Alex." I snapped, nudging him with my foot. "Get off my damn floor!"

His eyes opened and he sighed. "I got a hotel, I swear." He held up his hand in surrender and squinted his eyes shut before continuing. "But I saw this bottle and you know I like to pop my champagne…" he doubled over and threw up all over himself and part of my floor.

My eyes instinctively made their way to the clock, further reminding myself that I needed to be at work in a few minutes. I looked at the door, and then back at Alex.

I really contemplated leaving for a while, but being the nurse that I am, I couldn't leave a sick person alone like this. Especially in my house.

"C'mon, Alex" I groaned, attempting to lift him. He grabbed onto the counter and pulled himself up weakly.

"Lauren I think I know what death feels like" he squeaked out, before throwing up into the kitchen sink. "Just leave me here, I don't think I can move anymore." His hat drooped slightly over his forehead, pushing his hair into his face.

"Ugh," I pushed him back into the refrigerator door, holding him up with my hands. He was significantly taller, but I was successfully able to keep him from falling over. "GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN!" I yelled.

After my little intervention, I dragged him to the bathtub and somehow managed to dump him in there and undress him. I tried my best to avoid touching his "man parts" because I didn't want him getting the wrong idea. I left the baseball cap on, though. It was kind of cute.

The situation I currently found myself in sent me into a wave of nostalgia, reminding me of a time that was just a few months ago, when Jonathan and I were still together.

 _I remembered waking up from a night of heavy drinking, feeling beyond sick. My head was still spinning, despite the fact that I had hours of sleep under my belt. Jonathan was just about as sick as Alex was now, but he carried me to his Jacuzzi tub and laid out bath salts for a cozy bath._

 _We ended up cuddling in the bath; I sat between his legs and rested up against his torso. He'd kiss my cheek occasionally, and we just enjoyed each other's company, despite feeling like we were about to die._

Alex threw up again and it shook me back to reality.

"Fuck." I muttered out loud.

"I know, I fucking suck. I'm sorry" Alex started to sob. "Lauren, I'm not okay right now."

"You and me both, kid." I retorted, leaning my back against the wall of the tub. "What's on your mind?"

He sniffled and sunk lower into the water. "I mean, my dad's in the hospital… I just lost my mom." He looked down and wiped his eyes. "I gave up my whole family for this tour. Mom died and I barely had any time to say goodbye."

He rubbed his eyes and started to breathe heavily. "And then when I give up the tour to be with my only remaining family, I lose my girlfriend because I screwed over the band. I can't fucking win."

"Girlfriend, huh?" I questioned. He hadn't mentioned one since coming here, though now his advances on me made a lot more sense.

"Yeah!" he sniffed. "She was pretty cool. I met her one night at a show and we clicked. She didn't even know who I was at first. Imagine that!" He started to laugh. "She's the only person recently that I've met that didn't treat me like someone I'm not. Like I didn't have to pretend to be anything other than who I am." He sighed. "I mean, you always did that. But, with her it was different. I don't know."

His sudden comments took me aback and I felt the familiar sting of tears behind my eyes. "I see." I was rapidly regretting the decision to even ask.

"I'm going to leave you to it," I whispered. I leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. "Feel better, rockstar."

"Please don't go!" he cried.

I was too far past the point of caring about his feelings. Caring about everyone else's feelings is what got me to this point. As of now, I've decided it's time I worry about me. "I have to go to work. I'll be home soon."

And with that, I left him naked and hungover in my bathtub.


End file.
